Why is smokin'

 You wanna know why some people want to smoke and can stand the smell of it and it's disgusting to others. well those who've seen, heard, or said the most unimaginable, disgusting things, then nothing will bother them and they will come to peace with things like the smell of burned stuff. this is what is familiar to them, somehow in some ways, that they've become not something smarter or stronger but resilient towards whatever will come in their way.

p.S.: what is the border between playing with words for the heck of it and talking grammatically correct? what say you? can be seen as strange, or unfamiliar but it has some beauty to it, don't they?

p.S.S.: this Dansk song Rest in Beats is good: Rest in Beats - Fugle kan do
https://t.me/MusicOfTheSpheres/3256

Drunken morning wailer

 you're free how to put it, but life is going on without us.

you're free how to put it, but life in Iran feels like Peak Soviet Union era. I haven't lived through that time, but I can feel its coldness.

war is on the street, on the market, on the greengrocer shops, on the strees.

we don't have guns, we have our eyes, we have our cold, passive, piercing aggressive behavior that penetrates everyone and backed up by no one. there is no reason for its existence. it IS because of the circumstances.

my problem with reality was gluing yesterday to today and to tomorrow and the tomorrows that comes after, but this was never the problem, only an anxiety issue or source for becoming unease and troublesome. but not a true danger that I was running away from it so badly.

I am not sure what am I talking about, I am drunk.

forever stale

 Maybe I am slow, maybe I am lame, maybe I am unable! to whatever you say, that may be. no objections.

they pushed me to this point, what should be my objections to this? start from minus degrees to put myself together to tell myself you're not nothing, which wasn't a case in the first place!

that's why people and society are BS. they learn stupid stuff from each other, would think that is the only truth in the world that they need to follow and they pass it on to the next generation and the next generations to come to let them learn we are unable to do anything so let's just keep the bare minimum and don't risk so this bare minimum also gets taken. this mentality of victimhood even at its extreme that you will do drastic things to say that you're not incapable, you are unable. that people appeasements. this is a collective thinking  problem and not until when everyone wants to be clever and act selfish only to make himself stay longer. instead of helping others who are fighting against these mentalities, some people still do stupid shits and they learn from each other. monkey sees, monkey does. This generation of abused people, help other abusers, enable them to remain in their positions longer. when you think you're actions don't have any bigger impacts, think twice and see how you are working and feeding of a system that is essentially abusing you and other people. this dilemma is what others have passed and so many remained stunned in their positions and do what they've been asked to do. that's the miserable life they have.

Time does not have wings (not a children's story)

 Time does not fly,

your perception of it, does.

you can keep track of it and you'll see how efficient it can be. how precise and how on point it will be.

keep track of your time, and take your fate in your hands. lose it and lose your present and the future.

you don't need to do things the way it makes you uncomfortable but if it's necessary to do, find a way to make it bearable, or amusing or interesting and awaken your curiosity again.

when I have an appointment, and there is no time to waste, I understand the value of time and if we are caring about it we should know even those times that we are wasting, sometimes seems to be just an excuse to be on wrong again and not get blamed for it. I mean, what's the reason behind it? I'm not saying what is better to do and what's not, or what's worth doing and what's not. I'm saying if we're just doing everything for fun, we'll go nowhere, but if for example we play games and we persist on getting really good at it, it gives us a reason to live for and that's what we need all the times during our lifetime. it's not a matter of being 15 and doing this, you can be at any age and still believe in yourself and try to get better at your games, that alone can give you a reason to take care of your time and yourself and can also bring a lot of rewards and take you somewhere that you wouldn't even imagine it.

What's intelligence? what's not?

and intelligence is information, information is connection, connection makes people find each other and become one or two or another commune. there's a cycle going on, not run by governments as much as they love to be in control of what's happening and have the fate of the people in their hands and laugh like an Evil villain while their face is shadowed behind them over the walls. but if you see if from god-view or  hawk-eye view you see that people give out intelligence while getting intelligence themselves. there is a give and take kind of situation which at the end of course the people will pay the highest price with their lives and those in power always takes all the benefits one way or another. it's like if you want to stay off-grid and don't use the electricity that comes from the government power-station, buying solar panels or generators, you still gonna buy those devices from them and you're still bound to get loan from them to pay them their own money. it's a bit complicated I know but trust me, the only thing that shouldn't happen at any costs is to stop being effective. stop thinking that your actions won't matter because you're one. be sure that other ones will follow you and come after you. you just need to keep believing in your mean and persist on it, whatever you feel is your fate or you want to become. never stop grinding. jeez, turned out a motivational speech.

the answer to your question: everything is.

How's life over there?

 the society today, becomes more closed up than ever before. people are avoiding each other to stay out of trouble. we're in a time, where everything costs money, and people are on edge. country becomes sectioned into different power groups, and everyone wants to get something out of this, because all of them think they were the most dedicated and devoted buddies in thick and thin. old pals of the sharks want something out of all this. there are fast and hasty construction building's going on, again because that's how they can guarantee a bit of money for themselves while they're milking the lasts of the country's resources. sell it all cheap to china, who cares? sell out the soils while you're at it. oh you've been doing it for decades now? okay then, I can't think of any crimes that the government hasn't committed, and yet we swear allegiance to it to keep it safe and sound. or at least we don't think we need to do something about it. anything. we don't believe in anything now, we just want to survive another more day and that's it.

Addiction to Failure

 I am happy that now at least I don't feel lost. I don't feel if I don't belong here or there or anywhere, I must see why? why? there's no need to add drama and additional thought processes into your head and to your life, since you are precious and your time as well. this figurative snap backs to realities can move you from staticities. don't think you can't do anything, just do it and it will become something. yes I am talking about the process of starting with a notion and ending up with some actual results. we need small steps, that's how we begin, and we keep going and not stopping, because that's when success hits and you gotta be ready, i'm telling you, it's not wise to let go of opportunities like a failure addict. you need to want the ambition to grow and change and be on the move. that's the way of life. to be on the move. no matter where you are, what you do, just being on the surfboard of making something, creating something, saying something, drawing, cooking, whatever to feel the passing of the time. cause when we sleep we lose track of time and we don't know how much of reality we have missed. if we don't sleep on a schedule and mix day and nights during season change. now autumn is here and I absorb any beam of light that comes through the dark cloud smoke above the city. and let the finches get some too.

we are on the verge of a war if not actively in it, which highly doubt that it's not true.

and internet in already down, everyone's panicking and saying what can we do if the internet shut down again like years ago in March 2017. colleagues are thinking about migrating together to a neighboring country until the war ends and internet comes back up again. seriously considering this absurd thought which I thought is only my problem and my life is in ruins and shambles because of the absolute shitty situation of water, electricity, internet, and all the expenses that became quadrupled. and the severity of living near family members. oh god, my brain got deformed because of my headaches or whatever that happened to me during my time living with this family. that my mind blocked the memory from remembering it again. but it's deformed, some parts are steep and some parts are hill like.
all my life i lived a miserable life but i did what I could do atm, to make things better, and I did make it better but I couldn't hold on to it. I let it slip and this is the case of Addiction to failure that I have to conquer.

Stale

 I finally got it. i need to write it down before going to sleep because at this point I am sure as shhhh shingles!? that the state of being and living is not all about being alert and ready and in fight or flight mode, you need to relax and feel comfortable but when these needs aren't met you don't get entertained easily by games and stuff anymore, everytime you try to go back and concentrate on your toys, something horrible happens and steals your attention.

05.07.2025

you don't have any time for yourself. that's why I don't think about having a schedule when you cannot predict even simplest bits of reality shatters in front of your eyes and you as a watcher can sometimes take a lesson, can do nothing about it or be an active correspondent to what happening. the most complicated problems steming from thinking we are too small to make big changes. but my guts and research tells me that even an individual can change a whole nation and a whole world. this is not something extraterrestrial but something we do as humans fewer times in the history but nevertheless we do it. in neuroscience they tell you we don't know what is the reason behind altruism, but I think that is a bit obvious since I was prone to do altruistic actions I know sometimes it can comes from a need to be accepted among others. at least among humans. and in NS they say if you want to know why some behavior happened, you have to look at a second before it happened and see what caused the seconds after?

I was asking myself today, if the most precious thing made by humans is language and writing, why I do not engage in writing all the time? why am I wasting my times and won't really think deeply how it affects my life and how it hinders me from reaching my goal.

I know for a fact that I need to get out of this cell made by others and myself. I need to explore the world, yet this world today, is pretty expensive to live in. there are certainly smart ways to live off a street without spending a dime but it needs a lot of courage and might. when I was in Turkey, I would see so many homeless people, with clean clothes and you would find expensive stuff even on the streets. compared to a poorer country. and they also had a free mindset, without showing apparent fears, but you could see the seriousness in their eyes. one of them even warned me, put his phone out with his translator, and told me to drink my beer inside not in the alley this is a family environment and I did so. but depending on the region of the Province of Istanbul, you would face different reactions. some parts would speak English so good like around universities. everything would be beautiful around these areas. the stores, selling delicious burgers, fast foods, serving coffee and beer. major banks. hotels.

and on the other side of town in the east side or European side where the migrants would reside. there were shootings, people wouldn't speak English very well and prefer to speak Turkish. you could find kurdish speakers, farsi speakers, African decent speakers and so on.

i don't like to play with Nostalgia, something that never happened yet we feel good about it when thinking about it. those times I was residing in a house with multiple people, so many human politics happened and these things are really tearing me apart. thinking they are maybe scheming together with their agendas and bluffs and slander. I had to leave it. i have to talk about my ability or rather lack of it, toward other people. i look naive by an outstander. however I don't care, it doesn't magically erase it as well. it doesn't matter how many times I told myself I will become more aware, more present and thoughtful, cynic of people. but when I am seeing them I forget about everything and let them misuse my trust because why not? who doesn't want free ride?
To be continued....

Rambling Part 2

I am so sick and tired of so many things, I don't even what is real, what is true, what is meaningful?

I am sick to my stomach from playing in this crazy game of politics.

we are living paradoxes and we will not see that people admit this, or think that they have to do something about it. when someone thinks their action does not meet in a better result what will they do? they will stop trying. they get tired and will not do anything when you see no value in any action, you see the deceit behind every action, you see what they are selling behind what they are showing. and you simply not buying it. well from this point on, nothing ever good happens to that person. how can they compromise with the deceit? until you deceive yourself into believing that there is a compromise, to simply not point many things out since it will uncomfortable us. yeah that's it. otherwise by this point we as a human race, could build an institution of truth that would radio broadcast: "we are failing, we are stupid, we should go backwards". amid breaking scientific and technological advancements, still we are baffled by our interaction and will always misjudge situations, make things worse for one another and ourselves. we are good at waking up and going to work for somebody else for a bit of money, and will spend our life ruining ourselves and our family by doing that job as well. 

by this point you probably asked yourself what my deal is, whose side am I on? i am on my own side I guess, cause no one else seems to be bothered by this. how is this normal that humans have to tell lies all the time? and the fact that I cannot interact with them anymore in a helpful and constructive way, because all they say spewing lies and deceit at each other. and I have to accept and act as if nothing is wrong. following unwritten rules just to not get banished and left alone penniless? then what? nothing is more great than death and you cannot beat it. I know there are simpler reasons to live for, but over all I also have this view. i hate the way this reality works and I hate that it feels hopeless to do anything against it or for it. or maybe this is another lazy excuse to not taking any responsibility and all of that shit. yeah, it is probably that. i may project myself unto the world but I've seen people from close distance and I observed them good, real good. they are constantly lying to themselves. and it's not in our hand. i am probably lying about something as well. that's why I prefer to just not say anything because everything I said has been said before and there is no need to repeat yourself. but maybe here is my problem that I don't see what I do or say is important or will affect others. that's why I spew things myself. you can't open your mouth without disclaiming yourself. then why open at all?

maybe I should open my mouth and talk more or say more, if someone thinks I'm a bit too much of a talker, I can change the channel, they can too, we can talk to different people, maybe that way everyone gets some bits of me and no one gets fed with my shits ever.

these days since I want to exercise my writing skills, even though it doesn't mean I always come up with new things to say but rather it's repeating myself for different people. writing letters to each other. sometimes I get disinterested quickly but I want to stick to it as much as I can. doing something disciplinary is always good and it's positive habit builder.

Age of Empires II - Handbook for a successful start to finish game

 at the start of the game, as soon as possible, yet without any unnecessary and damaging stress, click on town center and create a villager, then select your 2 villagers and make a house with them, select the other vil and make a house as well. then shift click on the sheep so after they're done housing, they instantly go and make food. making a house is 25 seconds and making a villager having same time, that's why you make a house with 2 villagers to reduce the buffer time.

always make villagers and never stop producing, there's never enough villagers, especially at beginners level this can lead to a legit success.

the next villagers in town center should go to the wood and make a lumber camp, next vil go to food, next one go to wood, and so on and so forth. having 3 vil on wood is ok until Feudal Age. if you want to plan going next age as fast as possible, 6 vil on food is enough as well. if not, it's better to go to the next age with enough resources, not empty handed. every age provides you with many upgrades and units, you have to be able to afford it, but at the same time, going to next age is almost always in your favor. and beware that although your enemy will fear you now, they will prepare attacking you.

at the same time you have to be able to put your scout in your shortcut keys, ctrl 1-9, and do laming, which means laning some deers, gather your sheep around the town center etc.

start producing vils for the gold as well to start making infantry or pikesman for cavalry. if you are playing in a team game i.e. 4 v 4, you need 4 pikesman for each scouts. they are the counter units.

after this you either boom, start making units, skirmishes i.e. for being annoying to the enemy and never let them be comfortable. try to sabotage their miners and vils. this vil not only affect their economy but also become fearful and most players don't know how to react.

think about going to the next stage which is Castle age, and select some of your lumberjacks to make a stone mine and prepare to drop a castle in your enemy's face. we call this kind of castles DauT's Castle (you can watch a video about it on YT) and you either build that castle or you let the enemy interrupt the process. either way make that castle somewhere, even in your base.

don't forget mining upgrades plus farming and after that blacksmith upgrades for becoming more powerful than your enemy units. in castle age, try to build monastry quickly to gather as much relics as you can on the map, then build town centers to produce even more villagers and more farms.

To be Continued... maybe.

rambling

 the right writing platform is sometimes crucial to writing.

today though, I want to talk about something else, I want to talk about becoming many things. can you? become a doctor, and an engineer, a chemist, a writer, a researcher and other things?

what do you need to write?

motivation and a subject in mind.

and sometimes you don't be given any subjects or any known words. then how would you proceed? 

that's when you stop writing. stop talking. stop producing. because you think whatever you do, whatever you write doesn't shake the world anymore. not that you don't have it in you, but you feel spent to spend something. yet you're not, you're spent of what happened, not that they're in you or will haunt you or anything, but because that's how you got brought up, you just need to change the way you behave, change your routine's behavior. your routine's routing. that's how you start to make movies, music, stories, poems, pictures, paintings, and other decisions yet to take. these are the motivation to learn those things but the process should also be the motivation because you're on its way to become it, to produce it. if you dream of it. maybe I haven't dream enough of becoming something or even if I did I never truly believed it and wanted it with all my life, otherwise I would achieve it with all my life. right?

what's my passion and I would do it for free? that would be my Ideal dream hobby, what would I dream to do something and get paid for it? that would be ideal job. this was a diagram of how to decide what's your ideal activities or something. the Y diagram. by this measures, I don't know what would I become. a comic writer? I mean comedy writer? because I love stand up comedy, yet not very good very gathering material and presenting them on stage, yet I don't like to do writings for free and I prefer if I do it, I get some money for it. that's why I was proud of doing translation my whole life, cause it was a proud and sophisticated enough occupation.

does anyone still read these?

Daily problem, Daily Solution

 it's getting colder everyday and the desire in me to go out is also fading away. each day I plan for an event, a solo short but sweet hike on a nearest mountain. keep thinking to these tasks overwhelms me and therefore I stop doing anything useful and will get  busy to games or YouTube. at best I put on some music and workout for some 1-2 minutes. looking and finding or making something to eat and this is how day goes. in the meantime I try to grow 3 lemon seeds and some mushroom spores directly into the soil which was rinsed with boiled water and today I feed the pot with some sugar water solution.

mark & stamp - 0756

Mi.

I finally moved my skinny ass, stood up, got ready and went out on a hike in a remote place out of the city. most of the ride was on the bus or in a crowded, moist and damp with no fresh air. I wanted to explore a new place but I could go to a better place. in any case, there was moments that I enjoyed and recorded on a video and took some pictures as well. despite all of this movements I hadn't find a craving for food. 

day of tomorrow - 0309

Do.

wow, it has been a year since the sentences above. Since that time, I bought a bike and I am much happier because of that I go out much more and socialize more, hence I can be a better version of myself, also moving, stretching, pushing, and pulling don't go well with depression and if one thing can push it away that is doing some sorts of action and movement.

I am a bit confused and lost about my future and what to decide. stay and be patient? wait a bit longer? or risk my life a bit for new opportunities and possibilities.

I should quit every poison that I use but I don't know what to do instead of it. maybe going out when the urges come, going for a bike ride can clear my body and soul.

Di. 30.04.23

How to have a different life among others

 I had this title for quite a while and I opened it today after years to see it's just empty.

but nevertheless, it fits the purpose. to write is to remember, and that is enough to my faded mind; whenever I come back (out of shame or guilt for my dull-witted years in my youth) I find out minor details that would be shocking for me or even today's listener, when they hear the prices in those days or how things were, or how things weren't as good as they think and that they always had an excuse to live poorly and badly even though they were wealthy enough to feed some other strange mouthes out of pride and looking good instead of the evil things they did in the past. it's a cycle and we were about to do the same for the family but we weren't there. we rarely would attend these meetings and eventually every one of us got scattered somewhere in the world. now what is left is making good memories and write them down beside the bad ones as none of them will be removed from the mind of existence. it will relive again and again in different minds and manifest itself in the world.

anyway, i'm getting sidetracked here. these days I am trying hard to have a good time and do meaningful things. boiled some water and poured over a straw medium to clean it for growing mycelium in them.

bought some fruits and nuts, cashews, and currants are my favorites. sunflower and pumpkin seeds are also something I nibble on these days. Bananas and coconuts are always remind me of baboons and chimpanzees.

Who am I?

St. Jerome, by Jacopo Da Ponte known as Bassano, 1560 about, 16th Century

Firstly let us talk a bit about consciousness.

are you fully aware of yourself? or you're more out there and thinking constantly about anything and everything but really about yourself?

The Gateway project made me think about something and that is being aware of yourself. Psychiatrists or professionals in the field may haven't put much effort into this. 

"Know thyself" is the translated statement from the Temple of Apollo in Greece. I think maybe even Humans back then knew the truth and the secret which is hidden in plain-sight in our bodies.

Seeing the world as waves, frequencies, and vibrations.

this thinking suddenly changed my view about how things really work, how I should really feel, and how I should really face my fears. don't think of them as fearful things that will happen or going to happen, instead resonate with life. I was always an avid pursuer of learning and getting ready for survival so I can not just be alive but flourish as well.

Which is it? I don't know my body? my mind is locked up in my brain and in my body and that is the cause for disturbance and bad bodily feelings that I always crave to feel normal and use substances in order to feel that sense of contentment which I can almost never get it from anything? nothing, literally nothing is making me feel warm inside, loved, cherished or satisfied. most part of it though is clear and I have no doubt why is it like that. because being in a sick and toxic society, community, groups of people can affect you, your thinking, your thoughts, your personality, your goals, your concerns and everything else in between. the solution for me was a half-ass attempt to entertain myself, pick several hobbies that I don't put too much effort in any of them. but why is that? why instead of being busy with life, we are so self-conscious about everything and have to analyze everything. of course, for finding the best solution to a prosperous life maybe.

P.S.: Lucid dreaming and becoming master at it can really make a difference on how we perceive ourselves and the reality that surrounded us.

Invisible People

 There are certain people that will come into the circle of invisible people all the time.

They might not be invisible at first, they might not be invisible to certain people but they eventually feel that they are being discarded, neglected or left careless.

Although this phenomenon happens all the time and it may seem there is no running away from it, but there are definitely some measures that can take you to get out of that circle and become someone you want to be, and appreciate your existence in the world. This will lead to being hopeful, being happy and also set you a worthy goal.

I thought to myself for a long time; How can I be more Happy?

And I came up with an idea which helps both the neglected people and also people in the need of other people's assistance.

I wanted to open a community, which I myself needed a lot and can feel the lack of its existence already in my life, and thought to myself there might be other people who felt like this. other people who wants to help and get help from members of the community.

When you can live sustainable with growing your own food, your own electricity and other needs by yourself without the help of the government and their rulings, why can't you get help from individuals and help them in return as well?

I am not yet familiar with websites or communities which serves this kinds of services to others so I just start writing in here. If someone see and reads this, they can join up. let people know what you can do, tell people what do you want from them? or how They can help you in the way you want.

so for a quick start: I can teach in many areas from gardening, Human Brain, behavioral sciences, human body and how it works. what things to eat. what things to eat and enjoy life. how to be sustainable and how to survive with less or no money at all.  

This list has to be update in the future. I am Lazy therefore I don't write all the description to my personality or areas I know what I am talking about.

I hope to see some mature people in here and connect with them.

Godspeed (above the speeding limit)

'Still life'

How living like a super happy person is like?

is it possible? 

is it achievable?

by what standards?

with which tools and kind of intelligence?

there many people, maybe even most of them whom like to reach that point sometime in their life.

However, there are so many factors, chances, luck, having an advantage (nice family, wealth, connections etc.), and effort that you put on something to get the most out of it, yet sometimes it feels your effort is futile and nothing really gets better but only an illusion remains of what you want to become.

you do more work and you expect to have the same equal amount of rewards that you depend on! but they won't come and you're not so sure about why it doesn't work the way it should, you put more efforts sometimes and other times you just say "Fuck it!" it's not worth it.

....

چطور در بیداری رویا ببینیم؟

یونگ: «انسان با تصور اشکال نور به روشنایی نمی رسد، بلکه با شناخت تاریکی به آن دست می یابد هرچند که مورد دوم برای افراد خوش‌آیند نیست و سمتش نمی روند.»

سلب مسئولیت: اگرچه تکنیکی که در این نوشته می‌آید به خودی خود خطرآفرین نیست ولی می تواند تاثیرات روحی عمیق و غیرقابل برگشت روی فرد یا اعتقادات و تصوراتش بگذارد.


Sleep Paralysis - فلج‌خواب


فلج‌خواب چیست؟ و در آن چه اتفاقاتی می افتد؟

احتمالا اکثر کسانی را که دور و برتان می شناسید و یا حتی خودتان همه از فلج‌خواب فراری هستید. اتفاقی که گهگاه برای همه ی ما پیش می‌آید. سراسیمه از خواب میپریم و هرچه تلاش میکنیم فریاد بزنیم یا کسی را صدا کنیم نمی‌توانیم. حتی نمی توانیم بدنمان را تکان دهیم. البته این جنبه ی وحشتناک ماجراست و معمولا بعد از یک کابوس بد پیش می آید که میخواهیم از آن خارج شویم و بدن‌مان به سرعت ذهنمان نمی تواند از خواب بیدار شود و این اتفاق می افتد.
اما در مورد فلج‌خواب مصنوعی که خودمان آن را اجرا می کنیم قضیه قدری متفاوت است. در فلج خواب در واقع شما بدن تان را به خواب میزنید ولی ذهنتان را بیدار نگه میدارید، بنابراین در بیداری می توانید رویا ببینید و عین واقعیت با آن در آمیزید.

فواید و معایب فلج‌خوابی چیست؟

معایب:

- می تواند تبدیل به تجربه ای وحشتناک شود به طوری که وحشتناک ترین اتفاق زندگی تان را بصورت زنده و در بیداری تجربه کنید و این اتفاق وقتی می افتد که ناخودآگاه پر تلاطمی دارید، مدت هاست در معرض اتفاقات سهمگین و ناخوش‌آیند و پر استرس بوده اید.
- ممکن است دیدگاهتان نسبت به زندگی، آدم ها و یا اعتقادات مختلف به کلی تغییر کند.

مزایا:

- می تواند شما را به ناخوداگاهتان نزدیک کند و بتوانید خود را بهتر بشناسید (چیزی شبیه به تجسم خلاق ولی فراتر از آن).
- می تواند باندازه ی یک سفر معنوی (مثل سفر با ماریجوانا یا اسید) جذاب و پر از هیجان باشد و درهای تازه ای به روی ناشناخته ها را برایتان باز کند.
- اگر در این کار ماهر شوید، می توانید با تمام کسانی که روزی آرزو داشته اید اوقات خوشی را بگذرانید. از عشق ناکام گرفته تا فلان هنرپیشه و خواننده و انسان مشهور ملاقات کنید، سکس کنید و یا به گفت و گو بپردازید.

پیش زمینه:

قبل از اینکه به موضوع اصلی و جذاب برسیم می توانید یک سری پیش زمینه هایی را اجرا کنید تا از سلامت این پروسه مطمئن شوید و بتوانید از آن لذت ببرید و تجربه ی خوبی را پشت سر بگذارید.
برای اینکه فلج‌خواب خوبی داشته باشید برنامه ریزی کنید و از چند روز قبل از تمام تصاویر خشن و دلخراش دوری کنید. تلویزیون تماشا نکنید. الکل ننوشید و زمان بیشتری را در ارتباط با طبیعت سپری کنید.
برای اینکه خواب فرد مورد علاقه تان را هم ببینید، می توانید از تصاویر و عکس های او دیدن کنید، به با او بودن فکر کنید و خلاصه او را به مقدار کافی درون ذهنتان تصور کنید (حواستان باشد اوردوز نکنید.)


به چه روش هایی می توان فلج‌خواب را اجرا کرد؟

برای انجام این کار متدها و تکنیک های مختلفی ارائه شده است مثل تکنیک بسیار معروف:
Wake-Initiated Sleep Paralysis (WISP) که توسط آقایان Stephen LaBerge and Howard Rheingold ارائه شده است.
روش دیگر Middle-of-the-Night Meditation است.
که من به آنها کاری ندارم و ساده ترین روشی را که آموخته ام و امتحان کرده ام را بازگو می کنم. ولی شما می توانید برای اطلاعات بیشتر و یا عمیق تر شدن در این مساله سراغ تکنیک های مختلف این موضوع بروید و به اکتشاف بپردازید.


چطور فلج‌خواب را اجرا کنیم؟

و اما به قسمت جالب ماجرا می رسیم. ما برای دستیابی به Lucid Dreaming یا خواب هایی که با واقعیت تفاوتی ندارند و تمایز آنها از خواب عملا غیر ممکن است و یکی از عوارض فلج‌خواب است باید ابتدا به پشت دراز بکشیم و خودمان را آرام کنیم. ترجیحا وقتی بدنتان خسته است این کار را بکنید البته نه آنقدر خسته که تا چشمتان را بستید به خواب بروید.

وقتی که در وضعیت مقبول قرار گرفتید دیگر تکان نخورید. بعد از چند دقیقه که ساکن بودید، ممکن است احساس خارش کنید یا بخواهید دستتان را تکان دهید و یا از این پهلو به آن پهلو شوید. اینها حقه های ذهن شماست که می خواهد مطمئن شود شما به خواب رفته اید یا نه. وقتی که تکان می خورید مغزتان می گوید: «نخیر هنوز بیداره، میرم چند دقیقه دیگه دوباره چکش میکنم». حواستان باشد که گول حقه های مغز را نخورید و تکان نخورید. هرجایتان که به خارش افتاد، خواستید چشمتان را تکان دهید، یا خواستید پایتان را عقب و جلو کنید جلوی خودتان را بگیرید. در این حالت مغز هرچه فرمان میفرستد که شما را گول بزند و تکان بخورید وقتی گول اش را نخورید میگوید: «خب ایشون خوابیده، کنتورها رو خاموش کنید، زمین رو طی بکشید، به اعضا و اندام های زحمت کش هم خسته نباشید می گم آماده بشید که میخوایم وارد فاز خواب بشیم.»

و در این حالت بدنتون کم کم به خواب میره. چیزی حدود ۱۵-۲۰ دقیقه که از جایتون تکون نخوردید و ۱۰ دقیقه ی دیگر هم که در این وضعیت بمانید موفق خواهید شد که بدنتون رو به فلج‌خواب برسونید. در این مدت به هرچیزی میتونید فکر کنید حتی میتونین تصور کنین که یه جسمی یه نقطه ای در فاصله ی چند سانتیمتری چشمانتون قرار گرفته و می تونید احساس کنید که یک انرژی فوق العاده وارد بدنتون میشه. این باعث میشه بهتر به این وضعیت برسید. اگر که حدود ۲۰-۳۰ دقیقه از جاتون تکون نخوردید یعنی که موفق شدید و وارد وضعیت فوق العاده میشید. توصیف این وضعیت خیلی عجیبه و شبیه هیچ چیزی نیست که تابحال تجربه کرده اید. من در حدود ۱۵ دقیقه از جایم تکان نخوردم که به این وضعیت رسیدم ولی چندان برایم قوی نبود. حسی فوق العاده داشتم انگار که در رویا شناور بودم و بهمان اندازه ترس در تمام وجودم رخنه کرده بود. انگار در میان تمام شیاطین جهان بودم و در عین حال در یک بهشت بودم. می فهمیدم در اتاقم هستم، راه می رفتم، می توانستم کوچه و خیابان را ببینم، احساس آدم ها را بفهمم ولی از جایم تکان نمیخوردم و می دانستم که از جایم تکان نمیخورم و در عین حال می دانستم که در اتاقم شناورم.

اگر بار اولتان است که این کار را می کنید می توانید از دوستی کمک بگیرید که نزدیک تان بخوابد، وضعیتتان را زیر نظر بگیرد و اگر اوضاع کشمشی شد شما را از خواب بیدار کند. وضعیت کشمشی چیست؟ اینکه بدترین و ترسناک ترین موجود عالم را در این وضعیت جلوی خودتان ببینید و چون دیگر خواب نیستید و خواب نمیبینید انگار در واقعیت با آن موجود روبرو می شوید و عملا راه فراری هم از دست وی نخواهید داشت. ولی همانطور که گفتم در حالت خوب اش هم این گونه می شود که با فرد مورد علاقه تان می توانید ملاقات کنید، او را ببینید، او را لمس کنید یا با وی سکس کنید و ارضا شوید. یا به ملاقات خدا بروید، یا نیچه را ببینید یا با گاندی کشتی بگیرید. که این گونه تصورات نیازمند کمی تمرین است. در مرحله ی اول کنترل اوضاع دست خودتان نیست و همان چیزی که ناخوداگاه برایتان در جیب دارد رو می کند.

این روش تجربی من بود ولی معمولا برای دقیقتر پیش رفتن آزمایش ساعت را برای ۱ یا ۲ ساعت کوک می کنند. می خوابند و ۲ ساعت دیگر بیدار می شوند و به مدت ۳۰ دقیقه خود را بیدار نگه می دارند و دوباره به خواب می روند. وقتی اینکار را می کنید بدن را وادار میکنید که به REM یا خواب «رویایی» برسد. وقتی بدن به این مرحله میرسد به غیر از چشمان که سریع و تند به حرکت در میایند، و به جز ماهیچه های صاف باقی ماهیچه ها قفل می شوند، ضربان قلب به شدت بالا می رود و دانشمندان خواب REM را حتی خواب بشمار نمی آورند و آن را در کنار بیداری قرار می دهند چرا که عملکرد مغز و سوخت و ساز آن هیچ تفاوتی با بیداری ندارد. بعد از اینکه ۲ ساعت خوابیدید و برای ۳۰ دقیقه بیدار ماندید و دوباره به خواب رفتید، مغز وادار میشود که به خواب REM برود و در این وضعیت همانطور که بیدار هستید خواب میبینید.

پ.ن.: اگر این کار را انجام دادید، لطفا تجربیاتتان را پایین همین مطلب ذکر کنید.

چطور از خواب‌ آلودگی جلوگیری کنیم؟

اومدم بگم «بعد از مدت‌ها...» دیدم احتمالا اکثر پست های اخیر ام با همین جمله شروع شده که بعد از مدت‌ها قصد کردم که امروز بشینم و بلاگی بنویسم. بهرحال بعد از مدت‌ها الان نشستم و میخوام یه بلاگی بنویسم که شاید به درد خیلی هایی که شرایط من رو دارن بخوره.

مدت کوتاهیه (تقریبا ۲ هفته) که دارم میرم سر یه کار جدید، این کاری که میرم اصلا کار سختی نیست برام و حتی لذت بخشه یه جورایی و چالش بر انگیزه ولی مسیر کار ام دوره و رفت و آمدش توی گرما حسابی منو از پا در میاره. ساعتای ۸-۸:۳۰ از خونه میزنم بیرون و کارم هم از ۹ اینا شروع میشه تا ۱:۱۵-۱:۳۰ ظهر. بنابراین ساعتش اصلا زیاد نیست ولی با اینحال وقتی میرسم خونه، جوری ام که نه اونقدر خسته ام که همونجا بگیرم بخوابم و انرژیمو بازیابی کنم نه انقدر سرحالم که به یه کار مفیدی برسم. اگر ساعتای ۳-۴ هم خوابم بگیره و بخوابم تا ۷-۸ شب میگیرم میخوابم و روزمو تقریبا از دست میدم. بگذریم وقتی که اونموقع بیدار میشم تمام غم عالم و افسردگی میفته روو دلم. باری. بعد از تحقیقات فراوان و پرس و جو از دوستان در توییتر دارم سعی میکنم به راهکارهایی برای مقابله با این وضعیت تخمی دست پیدا کنم. چندتا چیزی که در این راه کشف کردم رو باهاتون در میون میذارم شاید به درد شما هم خورد:

۱. سعی کنید خوب و کافی بخوابید.

۲. اگر کارتون مثل من دائم پشت میز نشستنه، هر ساعت یکبار بلند بشید و به خودشون کش و قوس بدید نفس عمیق بکشید و عضلاتتون رو منقبض و منبسط کنید.

۳. اگر میتونید سرکارتون برای مدت کمی هم که شده استراحت کنید (من نمیتونم)

۴. حتما حتما و حتما وقتی رسیدید خونه ورزش کنید. من حس باشگاه رفتن ندارم ولی دمبل دارم، تخت هم دارم، با دمبل ۳۰ تا و یا شاید بیشتر حرکت میزنم و با تخت هم ۱۰ تا یا بیشتر حرکت شکمی میزنم. شاید بنظر بیاد که این کار بدتر آدم رو خسته میکنه ولی تراست می، تنها چیزی که حالتون رو جا میاره (بعد از آمپول آدرنالین توو قلبتون) احتمالا همین باشه. بعدش هم که لازم به گفتن نیست که یه دوش مشتی و درست-حسابی بگیرید. دوش آب گرم عضلاتتون رو ریلکس میکنه و اگر گرفته باشه بازشون میکنه و دوش آب سرد هوشیار و سفت‌تون میکنه.

۵. برای هوشیاری از قهوه زیاد استفاده نکنید که در دراز مدت نتیجه ی برعکس داره. کافئین درون قهوه برای محرک سازی شما تعدیل کننده های عصبی ای بنام آدِنوسین (adenosine) رو از کار میندازن؛ در حالت عادی و چرخه ی طبیعی بدن شما برادر آدنوسین تعیین میکنن که کی خسته بشین و بگیرین بخوابین و خب کافئین جلوشو میگیره و شما رو برای چندساعت جغد میکنه (اگه قهوه عربی باشه مخصوصا یا آمریکانو یا اسپرسو یا کلا هر قهوه ی دیگه ای :|) ولی خب بدن در این شرایط شبیه اون مینیون ها که یه دکمه رو میزدن و میدیدن کار نمیکنه و بیشتر فشارش میدادن عمل میکنه. میبینه آدنوسین عمل نمیکنه میگه: ئه یعنی چه، این که نشد که، همین دیروز گفتم بچه ها سرویس اش کنن که چرا همچین میکنه پس؟ و آدنوسین بیشتری تولید میکنه، هی تولید میکنه، هی تولید میکنه و حالا خدا نکنه کافئین قهوه ای که خوردین تموم بشه، چنان کسل و خواب‌آلوده میکنه آدمو که مادر بگرید.

۶. اگر فکر میکنید بدنتون با کمبود املاح و ویتامین ها مواجهه، میتونید قرص های ویتامین یا میوه مصرف کنید. در مصرف ویتامین خودسرانه عمل نکنید، بعضی از ویتامین ها مثل آ خب هرچی بخورید چون محلول در آب است، دفع میشه ولی بعضی دیگه مثل ویتامین دی چون محلول در چربی هست مصرف زیادش باعث مسمومیت و سنگ کلیه و هزار درد و بدبختی دیگر میشود.
۷. اگر میتونید برای ۱-۲ ساعت بخوابید که چه بهتر حتما اینکار رو بکنید و انرژیتونو بازیابی کنید ولی اگر مثل من نمیتونید، کلا نخوابید و از راههای بالا استفاده کنید.

نکته: اگر میتونید، حرکت های شکم انجام بدید، بصورت تجربی میتونم بگم که چند برابر بیشتر از حرکات دیگه ی بدنسازی آدم رو سرحال میکنه. نمیدونم بخاطر اینه که عضلات شکم کوچیکتره و فشار بیشتری به خودشون و بدن میاره یا چی.

من هنوز مشکلات زیادی با این قضیه دارم هنوز نمیتونم خیلی از کارهامو انجام بدم و زندگیم فقط شده کار و بعدش منفعل افتادن یه گوشه. انگار توی هپروت ام و نمیدونم چجوری زمانم میگذره. در جهل و چشمان خسته و تار و مغز منگ به سر میبرم. ولی هرروز سعیمو میکنم و یه حرکت جدید میزنم که با این مشکل کنار بیام که اگر نیام این کار رو بیخیال میشم. شما هم اگر نکته ای، تجربه ای چیزی دارید لطفا اونو در میون بذارید.

یک کلیشه ی دلچسب

یک شب در زمستان:
کنار من بخواب٬
مرا در آغوش بگیر٬
پتو را بالاتر بکش٬
گرم تر که شدم٬

مرا بخواب.

شبی در تابستان:
نسیم خنک میوزد
فکر آفتاب فردا ظهر
کلافه ام میکند
تو را میبوسم٬
فردا ظهر میشود؛
ولی کلافه نمیشوم.

یک عصر در بهار:
باران میبارد
زیر پنجره دراز کشیده ایم
قطره های چند تکه شده اش
روی صورت هایمان می افتد
خود را کش و قوس میدهیم.
لحظه کش و قوس میابد٬
لحظه تمام نمیشود.

لحظه جاری ست.

یک صبح در پاییز:

صدای جیغ گربه ی خیابان آمد

از خواب پریدم

عرق کرده بودم.

خسته از بیداریِ شب قبل بودی.

کتابت را بستی٬ دستم را گرفتی

دوباره به خواب رفتم.

تو هم به خواب رفتی.

قهوه خانه ی اکبر

عصربود که از بیحوصلگی و افسردگی خسته شده بودم و قصد کردم بروم بیرون به کارهایم برسم. رفتم که برای مُهر موسیو لیتو دسته ای درست کنم. چندجایی رفتم و همه شان گفتند که این کار ما نیست و نمیتوانیم درست کنیم و بعد هم از روی شکم سیری یک آدرس و یک توصیه ای هم کردند و مرا فرستادند بروم پی کارم. خلاصه به نجاری آخری که رسیدم ازش خواهش کردم که حداقل یک تکه چوب ساده و یک دسته ی معمولی بهش بزند و برایم درست کند هم از سرم زیاد است و کارم را راه میاندازد. دسته را برایم درست کرد و آمدم بیرون که دیدم باران شدیدی گرفته است. ولی دلم میخواست توی این هوا پیاده به خانه ام برگردم. شدید بودن باران یک طرف و باد از آن شدیدتر هم یک طرف.
با اینحال مغازه های هنری سر راهم بود و من هم قصد داشتم که به سفارش دوستم دوباره دست به قلم و رنگ ببرم و نقاشی بکشم پس حالا فرصت خوبی بود که رنگ و مقوا هم بخرم. آنها را خریدم و به سمت خانه رهسپار شدم. قطره های باران مثل شلاق به صورت کوبیده میشد. پرچم بزرگ افراشته شده ی ایران دور میدان هم خیس از باران مثل صدای تازیانه روی سرم صدا میکرد. پشت سرِ هم نفس عمیقی میکشیدم و از بوی تازگی و چمن هایی که گاه گاه به مشامم میرسید حظ میکردم. با اینهمه بعد از یک ربعِ ساعت زیر باران شدید راه رفتن٬ کل هیکل ام را خیس شده بود و از لباس ها و موهای فرفری ام چیک چیک آب میریخت. همینطور که میرفتم قهوه خانه ای دیدم که شیشه هایش را بخار گرفته بود و دور تا دور آن آدم نشسته بود. ازش گذر کردم ولی دلم حسابی میخواست آنجا میبودم و گرم میشدم و چای ای مینوشیدم. حسابی تشنه و خسته شده بودم. بیست قدمی دور شده بودم که دل را به دریا زدم و راهم را به سمت قهوه خانه کج کردم. داخل شدم؛ بوی سیگار و چای و گرمای مطبوعش به صورتم زد و عینکم را بخار گرفت. به سختی چهره ی مشتریان را دیدم که سیبیل به سیبیل آنجا نشسته بودند. اینکه میگویم سیبیل به سیبیل نه لفظ است و نه اغراق! حقیقتا سیبیل به سیبیل مردهای مسن بالای ۴۰-۵۰ سال آنجا نشسته بودند و هرکدام چندین انگشتری در دستانشان به چشم میخورد. هرکدام با اورکت آمریکایی و لباس های رنگ و رو رفته٬ چهره های خسته و سوخته٬‌ سیگار تیر و بهمنی جلویشان روی میز گذاشته و یک نخ هم میان لبهایشان گرفته نشسته بودند و وقتی که وارد شدم توجهشان به من جلب شد. جوانکی لاغر و عینکی با موهای فر و ته ریش کلومبیایی٬ کاپشن لی مشکی و شلوار جین سورمه ای آنجا چه میخواست. بعد از اینکه ور اندازم کردند دوباره مشغول صحبتشان با یکدیگر شدند. رو کردم به صاحب مغازه٬ گفتم:

- خسته نباشید عمو

- چی میخوای؟

- یک چای میخواستم

- باشه بشین برات میارم

ولی جایی برای نشستن نبود٬ نمیشد هم به آن جماعت گفت یکم مهربان تر بنشینید من هم جا بشوم.

با آن نگاههای بی تفاوت و گاها عبوس. به ناچار همان وسط ایستادم و خودم را با خشک کردن عینک و موهایم مشغول کردم.

آخر یکی از مشتریان که مرد لاغر و نسبت به بقیه کم سن تر مینمود تعارفم کرد:

- داداش پاشم بشینی؟

من هم که در این مدت سعی داشتم ارتباط چشمی برقرار نکنم و در عین حال هم خودم را جوجه و ترسو نشان ندهم با صدای رسا گفتم:

- نه داداش نوکرتم خوبه زنده باشی راحت باش.

و انقدر رفتارم بنظر خودم تصنعی آمد که بعدش نمیدانستم باید کجا را نگاه کنم٬ پس دوباره خودم را با موهای لوچ آب ام مشغول کردم. بلاخره چای را آورد و روی میز گذاشت و هرچه صبر کردم سرد نمیشد٬ آخر حوصله ی یکی از مشتریان سر رفت و گفت:

- عمو جان چای ات سرد شده چرا نمیخوری؟

نمیشد بگویم به شما چه میخواهم سرد تر بشود. گفتم نه فکر کنم هنوز داغ است.

چای هم بلاخره سرد و یک قلپ نوشیدم و دیدم اوه اوه چه چای زقی ست! دهان را به هم میکشاند و معده را به درد میاورد.

نمیشد هم بگویم چای را کمی کمرنگ تر کند. تصور کنید در آن میان یک نفر بخواهد چای اش را کمرنگ تر کند!

چای را به هر بدبختی ای که بود نوشیدم و ۵۰۰ تومان برایش دادم و آمدم بیرون.

آن وسط فقط کم بود یکی داد میزد: بر پدر پدرسگ مُفتِش قرمساق لعنت٬ صلوات!

ولی تجربه ی خوب و جالبی بود. فکر میکنم دیگر ترس کمتری نسبت به همچین جاهایی داشته باشم.